Thank You Notes

I’m a huge fan of Jimmy Fallon’s Friday night thank you notes, so I thought I’d try my hand at a few.

First, the intro:

I’m running a bit behind in my personal correspondence and thought I would try to get my thank you notes done on the blog, if no one minds. Okay?

(You clap and cheer here, and encourage me.)

(Jimmy starts the “thank you note” music, or you can supply your own.)

Thank you, Amazon KDP statistics, for showing me how pitifully few people are turning the pages of the books of mine that they bought.

Thank you, neighbors whose houses are completely and expertly decorated for Christmas, for showing us up. Again.

Thank you, continuous ads for Christmas gifts, for reminding me how few I’ve bought and how many I have left.

Thank you, clock, for only giving my 24 hours in a day. Why such an odd number, and why so few?

Thank you, kissing bugs, for invading my state and making me fear for my life, since you have about 15 different appearances and I’ll never know which one you are until you suck the blood from my face.

Thank you, Snopes.com, for confirming the above and adding a few really gross details.

Lastly, thank you, my readers, for giving me encouragement, for reading my books and stories, and for being my readers.

I hope your holiday season is progressing satisfactorily, if not beautifully!