Repeat, repeat, then do it again

When my husband first learned to preach, his mantra was, “Tell them what you’re going to say, say it, then tell them what you said.” Actually, he used that in business, too. As a writer with word counts to accomplish, it’s a great temptation to repeat things a lot.

I think that, if I do it right, it works. If I do it wrong, it sounds dumb!

Here’s Safire’s “rule”:

If you reread your work, you can find on rereading a great deal of repetition can be by rereading and editing.

I do think that certain main points of a story bear repeating, maybe by different individuals and in different ways. And when a character comes onto the page after a 50-page absence, I need to remind the reader who this is. I try to do this by bringing up a trait that I hope I made memorable the first time he popped up.

The one thing I do NOT want to do repeat the same word 1187 times in a manuscript. I remember my first manuscript exchange with the Guppies. Jim Jackson read a very early version of what is now EINE KLEINE MURDER  and remarked about how everything was “little”—all over the place. Sometimes 2 or 3 in a sentence.  

I eventually got used to nipping certain favorites in the bud: really, very, just, stuff like that. But repeats still cropped up. As soon as I eliminated an offender, a new one would take its place. I learned to put my work through wordcounter.com (about 35K words at a time) to catch ones that I’ve begun to repeat, that I’m not aware of yet. I’ve accepted that I’ll always have this problem, but—AHA—I do have a cure!

photos from morguefile.com

psymily

quicksandala

A writer must not shift your point of view.

I’m a big fan of this one! I know there are popular (VERY popular) writers who shift POV within scenes, within paragraph, sometimes within sentences. For the life of me, though, I can’t figure out how to read those writers.

I have to use clean POV for my own sanity. If I’m in Mary’s head, there has to be a break before I hop over to Jane’s head. It can be a new scene. Or it can be the same scene repeated from an alternate POV. I kind of like to do those when I can manage them.    

first photo from morguefile.com lauramusikanski

second photo from morguefile.com kconner

Beginnings and Endings

And don't start a sentence with a conjunction. (Remember, too, a preposition is a terrible word to end a sentence with.)

What do you think? Are these so terrible? And if so, why?

Okay, I’ll admit to doing this a whole lot in some first drafts. And in subsequent drafts, to, if I’m honest with you. But sometimes you have to start with the conjunction. That’s all there is to it.

As for ending with a preposition? There’s the ironic definition of a preposition is "A word you mustn't end a sentence with." Besides, this is actually a bogus rule. Another example of trying to equate English to Latin. You can’t do it in Latin, but you sure can in English. And there’s nothing wrong with it. Just like there’s nothing wrong with splitting infinitives.

The preposition prohibition began in the 1600s and has been continued, incredibly, ever since then. Here are thoughts on it. http://itre.cis.upenn.edu/~myl/languagelog/archives/004454.html

 photos from morguefile.com

Right This Way--Happy Fourth of July

I'm sending you over to Killer Characters today to read what Tally Holt has to say about Independence Day and pets. Please take care of them during what can be a terrifying time!

http://www.killercharacters.com/2018/07/wishing-you-and-your-pets-happy-safe.html

Don't overuse exclamation marks!!

This is a perpetual topic for writers. There are a surprising number of discussions on different topics relating to these.

First of all, is it a point or a mark?

Both, I guess. I don’t know which is preferred.

Next, can you use more than one in a row, such as in the title of this blog?

“Never use multiple exclamation points in a professional setting!!! Again, this is fine to use in informal and personal context, however most professionals agree that there should be ONE end punctuation mark to each sentence. Professionally, it doesn't reinforce the exclamation, it just breaks grammatical rules.”

https://purduecco.wordpress.com/2012/02/07/overused-exclamation-points/

(Strange boldings there, if you ask me.)

(Really, though, this whole article is good if you want to delve.)

(The article below says that if you’re going to use more than one, use three, never two.)

(I wonder how many parentheses in a row are too many.)

When should you use them and not use them in fiction writing?

Not for emphasis, hilarity, or excitement.

Use the writing to give emphasis and excitement. And using them to be funny is like laughing at your own joke. Or so this site says:

https://www.helpingwritersbecomeauthors.com/exclamation-points/

It also says you should use them for:

Raised voices, to make fun of characters, and in writing for children.

Okay, raised voices, I’ll go along with that.

The expanded explanation on the second one is to make sure the reader knows that what you wrote isn’t serious. I’m not sure how this is different than laughing at your own joke, but whatev!

And for children? You know, it’s hard to get them to use those inside voices. Maybe that should be rethought.

Here’s what Elmore Leonard famously said:

“Keep your exclamation points under control. You are allowed no more than two or three per 100,000 words of prose." 

photo from morguefile.com

Place pronouns as close as possible, especially in long sentences, as of 10 or more words, to their antecedents.

Probably a good idea, mostly, unless you’re backloading. 

Do you know about backloading? It’s an effective way to end a scene or chapter. From a course I gave in Atlanta in October of 2016, here’s an example:

A feeling of dread came over me as I opened the door. (Then you viciously cut to another scene and leave them hanging.)

Better would be this:

As I opened the door, I was overcome with an inexplicable feeling of dread.

Door is not the most important or evocative word in that cliffhanger sentence. Dread is so it needs to go last to leave an impression. Of course, in this case, dread is not a pronoun. Let me see if I can come up with a backloaded sentence splitting the pronoun from the antecedent.

How about this?

The boys, tiring after hours of seeking a way out of the dark, dank cave, felt the warmth and wetness of their own tears.

Can you think of better ones?

backhoe photo by Dan Zen from Flickr through http://www.everystockphoto.com/

Writing carefully, dangling participles must be avoided.

This one drives me nuts! Unlike the William Safire “rules” I’ve posted before, you really should NOT do this.

Unless you’re entering this contest.

http://sinandsyntax.com/blog/dangling-modifiers/

Here’s a sampling from the page:

“I found a dollar walking home.” I wonder where the dollar lives.

“Walking past the cemetery, an open coffin frightened me.” An open coffin walking around would scare me, too.

“Hopping from foot to foot, the crosstown bus came into view.” I didn’t even know buses had feet!

Another amusement source for these can be headlines.

http://forums.prohealth.com/forums/index.php?threads/dangling-participles-goofy-headlines-etc-know-any.248858/

Here are a few of these:

Dealers will Hear Car Talk at Noon—I’d show up for that. I wonder if David Hasselhoff will be there.

Juvenile Court Tries Shooting Defendant—I hope the court missed. Poor kid.

Squad Helps Dog Bite Victim—Ouch!

I hope you had fun with these.

photo from morguefile.com